she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize