I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
