That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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