all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize