She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
