I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
