Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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