I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
