where am i from again
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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