If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There's always time for handjobs
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Randomize