I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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