Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
