Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
