If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
