you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
