i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize