Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
