Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
