Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
