I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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