I wish I only lived at night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
