You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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