You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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