Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize