how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
