This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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