Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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