Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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