The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
