at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize