she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
