yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
