I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
