Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
