it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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