Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
me + whiskey = a bad person
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
