youre lurking in front of me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
