this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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