That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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