Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
