O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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