Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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