No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You ruined the universe
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
