Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
