Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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