Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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