I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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