ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
