I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
