Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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