Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize