I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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