My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
