Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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