Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
