Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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