When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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