Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
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