when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
