My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
