oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
