Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
