One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
