NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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