But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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