Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
