so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
