That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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