my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
