Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
