Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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