You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
