just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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