Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
