i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
