He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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