I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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