dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
